DAY 18
A simple psalm, "Be still and now that I am God."
Yesterday I laid in bed all day trying to rest from bronchitis and "walking pneumonia". Being off my feet is not easy for me. My motor usually runs from about 5:30 a.m. to midnight. As usual, the only way I can get off my feet is for God to allow me to have a "rest fast" (i.e. "illness"). I say that in joking manner, but it is so true.
One of my favorite authors to read has been Dr. Charles Stanley. He has gone through life events such as divorce, questioning and listening to God. I remember reading about that he was so busy at one time of his life that it took an illness to get him on his back long enough to finally listen to God.
At the risk of sounding like I am trying to compare myself to Dr. Stanley, the past few days of taking it a little easier and staying in bed has really allowed me to stop and begin to hear God's still small voice. And what He is saying has been right in front of me, but stopping and listening brings it closer to home. Here are some things He has revealed over the past couple of days:
1. I preached on Martha and Mary this past Sunday, and now I fully know I am a Martha. I want to prepare everything for everybody and miss out on the goodness of spending quiet time with my heavenly Daddy. I need to be more like Mary and sit at His feet for extended periods of time. That means to put my blackberry away, turn off the TV and get somewhere alone with Him. It means to turn off my talk radio shows while driving and talk to Daddy like He is in the passenger seat (WHICH HE IS BY THE WAY).
2. I learned as I always do that when it's more about Him and less about me, He guides me on decisions, he leads me to fresh ideas and to put it a simple as possible, calms my ADHD long enough to put me on clear path. For example, Kim and I have been needing direction in His calling for us. We want it written in the sky on a cloud, but He chooses a small voice to guide and others to affirm. That was so clear yesterday, as He laid out plans that were so clear it's scary (actually not scary, it's AWESOME).
3. God ministered to me through my wife and friends yesterday. To see all of the wall postings on Facebook and via emails about deliverance and healing that has/is taking place is what it is all about. Quite frankly, my spirits have been down because of this painful hacking junk I am dealing with, but also because of potential religious skirmishes on the horizon that brings way too many scar tissues in play. But stories from friends and God's healing and righteousness always brings me back to center and allows me not to focus on religiosity.
Finally, I bear my soul. I was so blessed yesterday to read Kim's blog as she took my place yesterday. God has so given her the opportunity to share her story and how He has set her free. She is a beautiful rose that needed nourishment from the fresh rain of the Holy Spirit. Once the Holy Spirit touched her she is not ashamed of any past that she secretly carried. She was always most beautiful in her class and a cheerleader and looked upon as a sweet, all together young lady. But in reality she had scars from destructive behaviors that took years to overcome. My wife is my inspiration in my life. She constantly leads me closer to the love of my heavenly Daddy. Like Kim, everyone thought I had it all together. An athlete, a two theoligical degrees, a pastor and outward success, but hidden scars that helped destroy a marriage and lose a ministry. I was a closet alcoholic and like my wife, had deep scars from sexual abuse and needed total freedom. One Saturday morning while we laid across our bed, we both gave in to our shame and let the Holy Spirit take control. We picked a major fight with the enemy that morning and we both have been under attack daily since that breakthrough.
Daddy, I am thankful that every scar that we have and will ever received was replaced by Jesus. I can't help from breaking down uncontrollably as I read Isaiah 53. All the abuse that Kim and I have received, and all the abuse that we partook of were carried to and upon the cross.
Daddy, I know I am all over the map this morning. But you are emptying me while I am still and I thank you for it. Continue to empty Kim and I and break our hearts for hurting people. All of the teens in Lewisville and Plano and Krum and Carrollton and Frisco and Coppell and Grand Prarie and all of the other schools and teens represented within our reach. Break our hearts for Gulu and Uganda, and Cindy Cunningham and the work she does for the orphans of war in Africa. Break our hearts for the girls and women that face decisions about what to do with their precious babies that they are carrying. Break our heart for this lost generation that is continuing to search for answers in this end time. Daddy, you are the well that so many people are searching for. Give us more time to teach your wonders of compassion and grace and forgiveness and healing. Let us be still, listen and then tell our story. Daddy, let this simple blog stir emotion from your believers and move mightily among us with your power to reach a lost and dying generation.
I love you more than my words could ever say.
Your prodigal son,
Jody
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